Insomnia
by Serymn
Summary: Tomoko is eighteen, high school is ending, yet all things in life felt like it was too late. Was it so wrong to turn to her brother for love and solace? Warning: incest.
AN: This is so wrong. Have a heap of incest, and badly-written smut. /hides forever please forget my existence. Now I'm officially in fanfic cliche hell. You've been warned! Upcoming next week is another normal fic on these two, 'Fireworks in July' so stay tuned!

* * *

Tomoko walked out of the classroom after the last final exam of her last year in high school. The exam was Physics and she was the last to get out, it was the hardest but everyone in the room seemed in a hurry to get out. She passed by Nemoto and her friends in the hallway, taking pictures of themselves and each other. She heard that they were headed for a karaoke night, to celebrate the end of high school.

As she headed to the school gate to leave, she saw that everyone had went off to their own groups, leaving her alone (she always was, anyway). _The last day of high school_ , what a sad and special idea, but she had no one to celebrate with but herself. Her only constant companion in going home since first-year was the sunset. She thought that maybe she'll just buy a cardboard birthday-party hat and a slice of cake so she can have a party with her stuffed toys in her room. She ended high school where she began: unpopular. She had always swung from megalomania to inferiority complex, and all her attempts had been effortless. It was tiring, but it will be over soon.

Now that school was ending, it sounded like everyone was getting sentimental but Tomoko was being excluded. Everyone had plans for parties after graduation, future reunions, but she was still the loser, the wallflower.

One look at the classroom during lunchtime, almost everyone was hanging out on dates or with boyfriends. Oh, how she regretted not being interested in it earlier! Yuu, Nemoto, Komiyama, even Yoshida... they were either attached or had someone interested in them.

Tomoko didn't remember being interested in romance, its just that being alone felt so sad and boring over time. She's wasted hours on dating games but couldn't even look or talk to a boy in real life without being a blushing mess. Maybe a girl would be nice, she's less nervous around girls, but then... she doesn't know where to start or with who. Maybe girls would find it creepy if Tomoko asked them out and girls she liked had boyfriends too... How can she even gain love when even speaking to people is enough to turn her into a nervous mess? It was all fantasy, turns out that listening to CDs or playing dating video games don't help in real life at all.

She didn't want to be alone. But how can she even begin to talk to other people when the only guy she can talk to is her brother?

Tomoki. Star football player. Popular, aloof, unapproachable. They never really changed much. Tomoki was still annoyed with her. Though after three years in high school, Tomoki had changed too. He got taller and (she won't say this out loud) more handsome. Girls from first to fourth year were enamored with him. He didn't care about them, which only made him more appealing in their eyes.

The weird thing is she notices it too. Whenever they cross paths at school or at home, she felt her heart beating faster. She was turning breathless at the sight of him. Which she knows is not supposed to happen. She was his sister. And never in a million years would Tomoki be interested in her that way. Beneath all the teasing... she hid what she truly felt for him.

#

She went home early. No sign of their mother. Tomoki was in his room, drinking coffee and studying on his table.

"Mom?" she asked him.

"She called and said that she had to work the whole night for her part-time job at the bank," he said, not looking at her.

"Food?"

"She went home for lunch and brought some food we can eat, I'll just cook rice later."

They were both alone at home. So the exams were over and high school will no longer be a problem in a few days. There was still a summer vacation so she better do something useful, not like all those summers she just wasted doing nothing before.

How many times had she imagined this situation, in lonely, secret nights? The things that could happen when they were both alone. When all the fantasies and images don't work... it made her feel dirty and bad, to think of her brother in that way. She had imagined, that one night their parents would be away and they would be together. But as if that would ever come true.

#

After dinner, she decided to try. She didn't know what to do or say, just opened his door. Tomoki was in bed reading. She closed the door behind her and walked to his bed.

"Hey, Tomoki," she said, looking down on the floor.

"What are you doing here again?" he asked.

"I'm just going to ask something."

"Well I hope it isn't anything stupid."

She felt her face getting warm. Maybe she should just get out.

"Tomoki, have you ever had a girlfriend?"

Tomoki looked exasperated again. He rolled his eyes and she flinched. He didn't answer.

"So maybe that means no. Are you still a virgin... with all the girls who like you, have you ever had sex with any of them?"

Tomoki rested his cheek on his palm. "None of your business. Now get out. I don't have time for your stupid questions."

That hurt. The helpless feeling of jealousy was choking her again.

"Well... what if... what if we do it?"

"What the hell?! What's gotten into you?" Tomoki asked, and Tomoko saw his face blush from her question. "Do something else with your time than say stupid things. Just shut up and get out!"

Tears formed in her face and that made him look at her with concern. So she had an effect on him. That's enough to satisfy her, a hint of reaction from someone so cold. For the first time she saw Tomoki look flustered and confused. In her wildest dreams, could it be...?

"Tomoki, please. I don't know what to do anymore. I know I'm your sister but lately every time I look at you I just feel like... I want you. I can't explain."

She rested his head on his chest and he didn't push her away. He just looked at her with confusion. They sat there for a long moment. Tomoki rested a hand on her back, tried to make her let him go. Oh, it won't work after all.

"Don't tell anybody. I haven't done this before," he whispered. Tomoko was shocked from his answer, she fully expected him to push her away.

Tomoko trembled as Tomoki kissed her. Slow and innocent, how he pressed his lips against hers. She closed her eyes just to drink in the sensation. Her lips trembled, as the kiss deepened. Feeling Tomoki's warm mouth, her heart beat fast, blood rushed throughout her body, and now she understood why boys and girls longed for lovers, what she had been missing and longing for. It was like a dream. This was her first kiss.

Tomoki's shaking hands held her shoulders, caressed her back. This was the first time someone touched her with such care, that someone touched her other than herself.

She was lost in the kiss and nothing in the world mattered but him. She was still wearing her uniform, she realized when Tomoki's hands were touching her knees and caressing her thighs below the skirt. She opened her eyes and saw that she had inspired the same fervent desire in him, and it fuelled hers even more.

After a soft kiss on her cheek to reassure her, he began unbuttoning her blouse. Tomoko removed her tights. Tomoko pulled off the white camisole she wore underneath her uniform. She stiffened with cold at having her breasts exposed. Tomoki touched, and kissed them. In the heat of the moment she began to utter a cry, not understanding what she was feeling. At seeing her so agitated, he began to be inspired to torture her with pleasure even more, now sucking and licking at the tips of her breasts until she whimpered.

She held his hair to encourage him, while her hips shamelessly moved slow, and while Tomoki's mouth did wonderful things to her skin his hands strayed beneath her school skirt. Its so shameful that she must be soaking there now. His hands merely brushed the damp cloth of her underwear and it was enough to trigger sparks in her brain. She did not make any attempt to suppress the sounds coming from her mouth, this time she was bold and unashamed, because its not everyday that their mother was not around.

Tomoki paused to strip his own clothes off. Revealing pale skin, and those strong, long legs she always had wrong dreams about. She saw his organ which sprang erect. It was weird and wrong, the wanting in their bodies they had no name for, his desire to fill, her longing to be one with someone else, to be touched other than her own hands.

Tomoki touched her through her underwear. There was only thin cloth separating them now, and how she longed for Tomoki to breach all these boundaries now but he took his time. Pink cheeks and nervous glances, ears alert for any sound that may mean someone's out there. Tomoki's mouth went back to its attention to biting and sucking at her nipples, and she squirmed at the pleasure of her pain, and all thoughts of right and wrong were already thrown out the window...

Just when she was overwhelmed by all these sensations, Tomoki's fingers slid inside her underwear. He touched and caressed, alternating between soft and rough and it was driving her wild. She scarcely had time to touch him back, his kisses rain down thickly on her skin. She shrugged the uniform blouse clinging off her arms and kicked off her own skirt, feeling stupid and ashamed but not caring enough to stop. Then she even was so bold to remove her underwear so Tomoki can touch her better. Tomoki gazed at her nakedness, nothing to cover it now anymore. Her own body had always been a source of shame for her, how she did not find it beautiful. But it didn't matter now as she saw desire in his eyes, the same thing she felt.

She gasped as his tongue kissed and laved on her most private parts, eagerly tasting her. A part of her mind thought that she was not supposed to do this, it was her brother giving her this. It was so, so wrong, but the fact that she was doing something forbidden made it all the more exciting.

His fine fingers tight inside her wetness, that felt so much better than her own hands... a soft tongue which gave that slick, lovely sensation that her own fingers could not replicate. She was finding it hard to breathe, with the rush through her veins, the reminder in the back of her mind saying that this was wrong but she still continued and encouraged it. She closed her eyes, savoring the sensations that she had only imagined but never felt before. It felt... better than anything her mind made up on its own.

Tomoki stretched out above her body. Tomoki's licking at her ear, kissing her neck, places in her skin that she didn't know could illicit this much feeling.

Then Tomoki stopped and gave her a long kiss. This was so wrong, her mind repeated, yet nothing else compared to how good it felt. His fingers were still caressing between her legs, and all these heady combined sensations were... heaven.

She felt Tomoki pressing against her skin, slowly burying himself inside her. She winced, but he was careful and slow. It was... different from being touched with hands. She felt herself slowly welcome his flesh, and in a deep hitch of breath and one deliberate and slow push of Tomoki's hips, she felt him inside her, no hindrances anymore.

They stayed still, unmoving, just breathing. Tomoko didn't realize tears were flowing down her eyes until Tomoki licked them off her cheek. They kissed again, slow, deep, fulfilling some kind of hunger they never knew they had. Tomoko felt like she would burst from how good it felt to have him inside her, to be one together, and their hearts beat as one, following the same rhythms.

"Nee-chan, just tell me if you want to stop, whatever you want..."

" _No_ , I'm just... I just like this, that's all, its too much."

They began to move their hips together, and Tomoko ceased thinking.

"Eh, Tomoki move a bit, there, now, go..." she heard herself speaking, her voice pitched and shaking. He sucked on the sensitive skin on her neck, hips working away but trying to keep everything quiet. She could hear cicadas outside as they moved, and all she can think of now is him, how much she wanted this.

She hugged him close, an arm on his back and another on his neck.

They kissed as they came together, but Tomoki pulled out just in time... he almost forgot about that. Tomoki held her, as he got the aircon's remote to turn it up colder to calm the heat of their bodies. They didn't bother to cover themselves, exhausted as they were. Tomoki was beautiful, skin shining and she couldn't believe it... it was almost like a dream.

"Was it okay, Tomoki?"

"It's okay... as long as we don't tell anybody," he said.

She kissed him again. She had lost count how many times she tasted his mouth, and even if they had done a 'wrong' thing tonight, she couldn't get enough.

They were not aware that they had slept. It was a rare kind of deep, dreamless sleep. Until they were woken by the sound of a gate opening that early morning that they jumped off the bed, realizing they were still naked. Tomoki wore his clothes, and Tomoko picked up the scattered pieces of her underwear and uniform so she can go back to her room.

She only put on her blouse and panties, but before she ran out of his room he gave her a naughty smile, pulled her quick to his lap and playfully bit her lip...

"Hurry, nee-chan, you don't want to be caught, right?" he whispered lasciviously and it made Tomoko blush, and in those simple teasing words she remembered what they did last night and she tried to suppress it, because the memory was already getting her wet and the sun hasn't risen yet.

#

Breakfast was awkward. Their mother had arrived earlier than expected. Tomoki ate as if nothing happened. Tomoko couldn't look at him, or at their mother.

For the last days of school, they only had to check test papers for the finals. The football team was practicing the whole day, and most of her classmates were downstairs watching.

"Tomoki's kinda slow lately," a girl said as they watched the football game on the field from their classroom window.

"Maybe he got laid last night that's why he's tired," another girl answered and they both giggled. Tomoko almost choked on her soda.

She watched Tomoki run across the field. His hair flying in the wind, he's so different in the field. He smirks, he shouts, and looks so cool kicking a ball. She can understand why everyone liked him. And now, she tried not to watch, because it was having the same effect on her.

#

She went home earlier than him. She was lying in their living room sofa when she heard him arrive. The TV was turned to an anime channel. She spent the day avoiding her classmates who watched him playing. He was still wearing his football uniform. He took off the high socks and spiked sneakers and placed them outside.

He smiled when he saw her. There was something different with him - is that a glint of lust in his eyes? "Mom's gonna be late," he said.

"And so?"

"She's going home with Dad."

Tomoki climbed up to her, placed his two hands at the sides of her head. He brushed his lips against her neck, and it was that fast that Tomoko lost it. Just one touch and she melts. She let out a sound when she didn't mean to, so she covered her mouth and vowed to keep quiet whenever this happened.

"Tomoki, ah, we're... in the living room! What if Mom arrives and sees us this way..." Despite her protests, he was so caught in the moment that his hands were already busy stripping off her uniform and taking off his clothes. She couldn't find the strength to resist anymore, she'll drown again in this promise of pleasure.

And sometime later, when she's breathless, leaning over the chair while Tomoki took her from behind and holding her close. Freaking hell, she thinks, it feels so much better that way. Then, just as she was nearing climax, that earth-shattering spasm inside her that she craved so much... the doorbell rang.

"Shit, Tomoki, someone's at the door," she said, just while the pressure was building up, what a mood-killer that doorbell was. "You said they would go home late!"

It rang again.

She felt Tomoki's come on her thighs, some dropping to the sofa.

They held their breaths as they heard the jangle of keys and the metal door of the gate opening... then closing with a resounding bang. Tomoki just threw his sweaty shirt on the sofa to cover up the mess, and forced his tired legs to run up the his room. He left Tomoko without warning, who still naked. She managed to gather all the clothes they scattered, including his shorts, with her uniform. She got up and ran to the bathroom in five seconds.

She heard the door open just as she locked the bathroom door. She sighed in relief. At least she was safe now and can take a shower, to wash all his smell off her. Good thing he didn't come inside her. They had to do something about that.

She still had his smell on her. That sweat from football, the musky citrus of the cologne he uses. The smell she inhales when they were close, fucking, when she's on the edge. She was still turned on that she stripped and touched herself in the bathtub. But after doing that, doing it by herself didn't feel that good anymore.

They had sex, just the second time, and brilliant horny teenagers they were they did it without being more careful. It was too risky. They had to be safe. _Next time_ , they shouldn't do it in the living room, it felt great, but imagining an incest baby might just make her kill herself.

But she still felt tense. As if she had forgotten something.

#

"Tomoki! Tomoko! Dinner!" their mother called.

"Later, Mom!" Tomoki said from his room.

"I'll eat after you're all done," Tomoko said from her room.

Their mother went up and scolded them both, "I said come down, you two!"

They opened their doors at the same time, went down together.

Shit, Tomoko realized, the shirt... she forgot Tomoki's shirt on the sofa! Both of them exchanged shocked, revolted looks at each other. She saw the shirt on the sofa was gone, it was now clean. Tomoki looked on with horror while Tomoko just pretended not to notice. Shit. But they hid it, their mother didn't seem to notice.

After dinner, Tomoki left for his room quickly. Just as she was also about to return to her room, her mother wanted to talk to her. _Please god no._

"Tomoko, was there anyone with Tomoki lately?"

Tomoko swallowed. "There was his classmate leaving when I arrived," she said, hoping that the lie wasn't obvious.

"A girl or the usual guys?"

"A girl," she lied. She was so relieved inside when her mother looked like she believed that.

#

Late that night, she heard her mother talking at Tomoki in his room.

"Tomoki. If you want to live here, you don't screw girls on my _clean couch._ If your friend came over, then why, of all places, do it in our living room and not in your own room? What would your father say? Your sister is here! At least respect that!"

Tomoko listened through the wall with her eyes open, nervous but relieved.

"Yes, Mom," Tomoki said.

"Wait... do you use protection?"

"Er... none... but I'm not doing it inside..."

Their mother heaved a big sigh and she could hear her slap him. "Don't you know what will happen if you knock up a girl, huh? I mean I'm not stopping you if that's what you want to do but don't be dumb! I thought you were smarter than that."

"Sorry."

"No."

Guilt began eating away at her heart, but it was still not enough to want to stop.

They had to be really careful if they want to go on with it. But that time she was helpless and couldn't resist his advances once they started. It was heaven, it was wrong, but it felt good, how could it be wrong? Who said it was, anyway? There were a lot of things that people say are wrong but people still do it. The idea of incest was disgusting before she did it. Now that she did, she wanted only more of it.

#

"Tomoki, I think we should stop. Or, I mean, we should be really careful about... Ah! I told you not to when we're here downstairs! Stop, just for now, let's go to your room..."

It was Saturday afternoon, their mother was out shopping. Tomoki just came home from from going out with his guy friends, he was wearing a grey shirt and denims. Tomoko was helpless as she was pressed against their dining table. She still didn't take a bath and she was wearing her most unattractive clothes - that ratty old dress she used for sleeping. Tomoki's thigh was pressing between her legs, she was trapped in Tomoki's arms as he kissed her. She was helpless against him. The dress's skirt was riding high on her thighs and the coarse cloth of his pants rubbed her panties.

"Tomoki."

"What was it? You want to stop when you're the one who started this and gave yourself to me?"

"I don't mean that, I mean, just another place..."

"I'm too tired to go up."

"But you're not too tired to do this..."

"I don't feel like going back to how it was before," he said, and at those words, she too felt that there was really no turning back. She could not protest anymore when those lips kissed the sensitive flesh of her ear, her neck, trailing kisses on her shoulders.

"How can you stop feeling like this... when its obvious you want me, right?" he whispered, as his fingers caressed and played at the cloth of her underwear. She could do nothing but cover her mouth when those slender fingers touched and pushed their way in, of course she wanted this, she wanted him, and the table hurt against her ass. She was surprised when Tomoki carried her to the sofa again. She felt so small in his arms, and he could carry her easily.

 _Not again_ , she thinks, as she lay down.

The door opens.

"What are you doing?"

It was their father.

And idiots they were, they were so shocked that they didn't move from their position. Tomoki lying between her legs, their faces a few inches apart.

"He was tickling me. Get off, Tomoki!" she screamed at him, and he just rolled himself off her to drop on the carpet on the floor. He just pretended to lie there, and he turned on the TV to watch cartoons. Spongebob Squarepants was playing on the channel.

"I've got some chocolate here, if you want," their father said, taking a pack of sweets from his brief case to put it on the table. Tomoko pretended to watch TV but only thinking of scolding Tomoki later.

#

That night, when her parents were asleep in their room downstairs, she heard him open the door. He closed and locked the door without a sound. He was here, intending to finish what they started. She was trying to sleep, but actually hoping he would come.

"Next time, lock the damn door and just stop doing it downstairs," she said.

"Nah. We're safe. Sorry for that. Next time, I'll make sure of it."

"You better be damn sure," she said, as they closed their eyes to kiss, Tomoko wrapping her legs around his waist. The sky was dark, with no moon, only stars.

#

 _end_


End file.
